Sep. 2010 - Life According to Lillie-A Golden Story
Life According to Lillie: A Golden story…Lillie tackles the mystery of birds including how one Sun Conure tried to become a squeaky toy!
Hi! My name is Lillie, Lillie the Golden Retriever! I live with my mom, dad, adopted sister Chloe the Great Dane, and baby sister Tess. I have had lots of adventures in my life, and while mom has done a lot of writing in her life - mostly about things called Pride and Prejudice or War and Peace or Kibbles ‘n’ Bits, I’m not sure - I have never taken the time between sleeping, barking, and playing fetch to write down my adventures, until now. I had a hard time trying to decide what adventure to tell you about first, but I think the best place to start would be a story that tells you the most about me – The Story of the Suicidal Bird!
Most people think retrievers are crazy about balls, but I have to tell you, we really really love birds. In my life I have been teased, taunted, literally tormented by these winged creatures, and every time I try to have my revenge, I am thwarted!
Once I caught a chicken - quite silly little creatures, good only for barbeques if you ask me - at mom’s friend’s farm, but mom chased me until she caught me and took the chicken away. Apparently this chicken was of some importance to mom’s friend, something about laying eggs to sell at the Farmer’s Market, I’m not sure. Then, there was the time when the ducks - who are much more conniving than chickens - tried to drown me in the lake. They taunted me mercilessly by quacking at me from the other side of the fence, so of course, when mom opened the gate to let me swim, I had to go after them. But they had a plan already, and once we got to the middle of the lake, they split into two groups so that I nearly drowned trying to go back and forth between them! Eventually, I made it back to shore, but not before vowing that I will get back at them one day.
Anyway, there was one time I really got a shot at a wing tasting. It was when mom’s Sun Conure decided to play kamikaze pilot. Sunny, as mom called him, was constantly teasing me by flying from his cage to the chandelier and then squawking at me while I, with two too many legs, no wings, and a serious lack of opposable thumbs, sat helpless below.
Then, one day, Sunny must have decided that he no longer wished to be a part of this world and flew straight into my mouth! Seriously! It was like Christmas in July, and yes it really was July. I was so excited I didn’t know what to do! I held him in my mouth (as I’m sure you know, bird-dogs like me have very soft, gentle mouths for retrieving game), wagged my tail as hard as I could - oh, I had full butt-wag going on - and proudly pranced around the dining room… until I realized mom’s expression.
She was terrified and frantic looking. She started waving her arms looked like she might pass out! She shouted the command, “Drop it!” and because I love mom very much, and I am very good at remembering my training, I did. I just dropped him. Oh man, how I wish I was a bad dog! I so wanted to toss and play with and squeak that squawker, but I dropped him right into mom’s hand. And of course, he continued to taunt me for several more years.
Ah well, this hunt and peck typing (No bird pun intended! Ok, so maybe it was intended…) is taking a lot out of me, and Chloe is making that nap in the sun look pretty good, so until next time, I wish you a world of adventures with lots of birds to chase, and don’t forget to paws and sniff your neighbor! Oh, now that was a bad pun…
Lillie is a Golden Retriever just bursting to get her stories out, but like most Goldens she finds it difficult to concentrate on writing a book, so she agreed to write for us instead! If you’d like to reach Lillie to tell her about your bird-catching techniques, send her an email to: hcutchinevans@carefirstanimalhospital.com and we’ll make sure she gets it!
